Get Your Meanest Inner Monologue to STFU In Just 4 Questions

Posted by   Annette on    September 2, 2013

dark-mirror.jpg"I'm ugly." "I'm fat." "I'm not smart enough." "I'm talentless." "I can't do this." "I'm boring."

The negative-self-talk side of your inner monologue can be a little bitch sometimes.

Do you wish you could just figure out how to get that voice to shut the f&$k up so you can get on with your day? Great news: You can.

Here's how to start:

First, write the statement down on a piece of paper. You know the one--the one your brain won't quick harping away on. The cruel one. The one you'd never say to anybody else. When you write it down, boil it down to one short, awful sentence. Make it as painfully exact as it is in your head. Set it in front of you on the table. Then, ask yourself these four questions about it.

1. Is this true?

This is the fun part, because nothing is true in the sense that you can't change your perspective on it. Just because you currently believe it to be true does not mean it's actually true in any legitimate sense.

No matter what it is, the statement can very easily be false.

Rest in that knowledge for a moment.

2. How do I know this to be true?

This is where you start to see the story you've built up around the statement. Do you believe what you believe about yourself because someone else told you to? Because you've always assumed it was the case? Because you're working under external assumptions or expectations? You started to believe this for a reason -- probably, in all honesty, a stupid one. Once you've identified that stupid little reason, you'll be much closer to squashing it.

3. If this is true, what does that mean for me, really, in a practical sense?

No statement you can make about yourself can sentence you to a lifetime of unhappiness without parole.

Why does it have to define you?

Why are you giving it power it doesn't deserve?

4. How would things change if this were false?

What freedom can you find in peeling up the layers and seeing the statement as a lie?

The best part: you're the one who propagates that lie. Once you stop believing in its power, the rest of the world will magically stop, too.

I like to tear up and set fire to the paper afterward, but I'm kinda violent that way.

That said -- don't you want to see it burn?

medium_82015664.jpg

photo credit: Edward Zulawski Pesadelos Inconstantes via photopin (license)