Why Don't We Do It On The Road?: Smarter Sex For Travelers

Posted by   Annette on    May 30, 2013


Teaming up to chase dreams around the world is so. Very. Sexy. Here's how to keep it that way.

I’ll let other writers elucidate the finer points of the searing-hot mating rituals of the single digital nomad. I’m more interested in the searing-hot mating rituals of committed lovers, scorching destination after destination with their head-turning chemistry.

1. Privacy is non-negotiable.

Make sure that sex has a sacred space in your location independent life, in both a physical and spiritual sense. Don’t meander from dorm hostel to dorm hostel, assuming you’ll find an hour when your ten roommates are all magically absent. Trust me, it’s not gonna happen.

Spiritual space is slightly trickier. The hyperactive novelty of an LIP life tends to be overwhelming, first of all. Add to that the pressures of 24/7 togetherness, the constant introduction of new people to your social sphere and the vagaries of a shifting schedule. Prioritize intimacy and connection so it isn’t overwhelmed by the other dynamics.

2. Three words: Virgin Coconut Oil.

Virgin coconut oil--the cold-pressed stuff--is relatively easy to find in health food stores almost anywhere in the world. (When it's available, I buy the Nutiva brand to support their super-high business standards.)  It’s better—and far, far healthier—than any drugstore lubricant on offer. It’s also a fab massage oil, cleanser (especially when mixed with baking soda), moisturizer, makeup remover, cooking oil and spread for your morning toast. Can you say that about your ol’ tube of Astroglide?* Thought not.

[POSTSCRIPT EDIT] A Facebook friend brought my attention to a vitally important note that bears mention here: Polyurethane condoms are the only types of condoms safe to use with oil. (Trojan Supra and Avanti are the best in the category.) I'm latex-sensitive and I don't like polyisoprene, so I had completely forgotten to mention this in the first round. Sorry!

3. Bring a toy. 

Make room in your bag for at least one really good one. You’ll be glad you did.

Then, keep your stash in a small, washable cloth bag. You’ll most likely be sharing space at some point or another, and it’s nice to keep it all together, close at hand and hidden in plain sight.

4. Keep moving. 

Physically, I mean. If you let it, the LIP lifestyle can keep you superglued to a laptop. Nothing’s as effective a libido assassin as a sedentary lifestyle, so go out and play. (Setting off on a playground tour of your new neighborhood will do nicely.)

5. Don't be an idiot.

Remember: out here, sexual safety is worth both your lives. This is true even if you don’t happen to be in sub-Saharan Africa or midtown Bangkok--and it's true whether you intend to be monogamous or not.

6. Female? Hetero relationship? Consider upgrading birth control.

A permanent or semi-permanent method of birth control is a much better idea than the messy, annoying, temporary alternatives. This doesn't get you out of condom use for safety in nano-relationships, naturellement. That said: The peace-of-mind in knowing that it's pretty close to statistically impossible to get pregnant is worth its weight in gold.

Think about it: 

  • Are you consistently able to keep hormonal birth control within the safe temperature range while you’re in “travel mode”?
  • Will you always be able to get your contraceptive meds overseas, with no danger of pharmaceutical fakes or brand inconsistencies?
  • If you use condoms in your committed relationship[s], will you always be able to trust the ones you find in far-flung places?
  • Are you and your partner[s] prepared to go without sex for long periods of time while you sort out contraceptive supply issues?
  • What would happen if you discovered an unintended pregnancy on the road? 

I switched to an IUD several years ago and couldn't be happier with the decision. 

7. View your relationship in the context of a journey.

Choose to set out on it every day. Make it an art project in constant motion. And never stop exploring.